A Light In Motion

Justice was more than my son...he was my light.

Brilliant, sensitive, and full of love, he had a mind that moved faster than the world around him. He was endlessly curious and naturally gifted. He stood out in sports, made people laugh without meaning to, and had a laugh that pulled you in and made you feel like you belonged.

But like many others, Justice's story was shaped by addiction...a battle he never asked for, but fought with everything he had.

The Beginning of His Struggle

At 15, Justice began experimenting with marijuana. What started out like typical teenage curiosity slowly evolved. He was later introduced to Xanax and Percocet...substances that quietly but powerfully took hold of his life.

Over the next few years, we watched a painful transformation. The boy who once followed every rule, who loved deeply and dreamed big, was being pulled further into addiction's grip. It was heartbreaking. I was desperate to save him.

His Courageous Attempt at Recovery

At 19, Justice made the brave decision to enter treatment in California. It wasn't where I imagined we'd be...I should have been helping him move into a dorm room, not a rehab center. But he was ready to fight, and I was willing to believe in his strength.

Leaving him there was one of the hardest moments of my life. It felt like abandonment, but I knew he needed a chance to recover, even if it meant stepping back so he could step forward.

And for a while...it worked.

A Glimpse of the Son We Knew

Justice embraced sobriety. He worked hard, grew stronger, and came back to us in a way we hadn’t seen in years. He laughed again. He hugged tighter. He felt like himself again. But addiction is not a straight line.

The Setback & My Own Awakening

After a year, Justice relapsed. We had feared this might happen, but nothing prepares you for watching it unfold. I flew to California once again, ready to help him back into treatment…but this time, he wasn’t ready. And for the first time, I didn’t try to make him. Instead, I let him go…with love. It was the hardest, most painful act of motherhood I’ve ever known. Still, Justice fought in his own way. He stayed away from pills and identified as “California Sober.” He believed he could manage it.

The Day Everything Changed

In July of 2019, Justice made a decision he believed was safe. He used cocaine…a drug he had never struggled with. After two sleepless days, he took Xanax to come down, just as he had before. But this time, the combination was deadly. On July 22, 2019, I received the call I had feared for so long. His girlfriend’s voice trembled as she told me, “Justice isn’t breathing.” I was on the phone as paramedics arrived. I listened to every moment unfold…the voices, the Narcan, the silence. I got on the next flight to California, shattered and praying.

A Final Goodbye

When I arrived at the hospital, I was given a gift I will always be grateful for: the chance to say goodbye.

He lay so still, the sound of machines forever etched in my memory. But I held him with all the love I had left. I kissed him endlessly, whispering I love yous meant to last a lifetime...hoping some part of him could still hear me.

On July 25, 2019, Justice was declared legally brain dead.
It was the worst day of my life.